And … yeah, I think there is a responsibility when you’re having sex with someone that you should at least be sensative enough to notice whether they do or do not really want to be in the situation you’re putitng them in. And any unexpected variations on what you were expecting (from tying up to videoing to having additional spectators) SHOULD be a case of clear consent.

However, Clinton should still be able to have a reasonably uncomplicated drunken root with his hypothetical fuckbuddy from the pub – he’s just not allowed to tie him up or do anything that might have the potential to make him particularly uncomfortable unless he can get a clear “yeah, I’m into that” from them. Asking questions like “So, are you a bottom or a top” or “would you like to suck on that” should be enough for most situations…

I want to thank every one for their comments about this though. Agree or disagree. All opinions are respected and is great to see people feel comfortable expressing their views. Hate going to some comments sites where it becomes bullying and abusive just cos someone has a totally differing opinion.
So if anyone feels I may of been insensitive I apologise but have enjoyed reading peoples thoughts. glad we all got you thinking.

Seumas here. I don’t share your thoughts that “I wanted them dead” akin to “I want to ruin his life”. One is borne out of undirected anger, but the latter shows a degree of more directed vengeance that isn’t present in the first statement. It’s a subtle point, but I think important.

There is the concept that consent can exist up to a point, but if it heads to somewhere that you weren’t expecting and you’re shocked by the whole event, the person “upping the ante” is to a large degree responsible. Let’s pick something obvious – you are having sex with someone and halfway through, they tie you down with rope and continue. You didn’t give any indication that it was okay, but you didn’t envision this happening in advance, and you weren’t asked, so you didn’t consent, and the shock of the situation means you didn’t refuse. You just take it.

Now, what if someone is on top of you and in the throes of passion they pin you down and prevent you from moving to the point that you feel threatened? Again, the feeling of shock can be such that you don’t know what to do, so you lie there and take it – but you really don’t want to be there – and you didn’t consent to something more aggressive and violent.

I don’t think that Clare consented to the entire football team. She might have consented to sex with two men, but the next man to enter that room – which would have been obvious was a private room and didn’t concern them – that person was in the wrong from the moment they entered the room. Everyone that followed and entered that room were also in the wrong, even if Clare didn’t consent.

On the issues of rape, sexual assult and otherwise “things I didn’t sign up for when I went with the guy”… Seamus’ point is absolutely the right one from a medical and theraputic point of view – the patient has to be believed, trusted and allowed to

From a legal point of view, though… things need to be provable beyond reasonable doubt. and in instances where this is “his word against hers” as to what happened, in many cases, the accusation gets dropped becuase there is no way that a jury is going to be able to decide the matter beyond reasonable doubt.

Having said that, the thing that really gets people’s backsides up is that footballers and similar celebs of that ilk do have a reputation for treating the general public like cum-rags. And that is absolutely not on.

It should be pointed out that Craige was actually right that the Four Corners interview did indicate a lot of vengeance and anger was coming from the young woman concerned (she didn’t say “I want to ruin his life” but she did say “I wanted them dead”, which is understandable for a woman who realised she was in a situation that got out of her control, and which she didn’t say no to).

There is, however, a difference between “sex that you’ve gone along with that you later regret” and rape. And that’s an area that the public debate really hasn’t got into.

the question of consent is a very important one, I know most of you (dom and clinton) would love a bukake with Said football team. LOL LOL. But In all seriousness I’m not really sure where i would stand but i think i would agree that it would be very hard to say No if you walked into a situation you weren’t prepared for like a football team of watchers, like a unplanned orgy or video camera! but for the her to call rape when she did consent to sex with 2 of the players seems extreme.

anyway life’s to short to be serious

looking forward to the next as always

Did you notice in the papers this morning that a few days after the head of the Transport Ministry resigned that the expansion of trams to Dulwich Hill is on the table again? Maybe they need some public transport users at Transport

Keep up the good work.

It’s also been suggested that Central-Circular Quay trams run up one of them and down the other.

Hugs,
Tom